ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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