I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
