I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize