You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
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I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
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Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize