So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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