If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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