Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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