Pants 0. Shit 1.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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