this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
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I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
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When did angry sex become our thing?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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