i may or may not be watching the land before time
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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