remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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