And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize