I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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