I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
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