You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
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my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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