I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
