In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.