Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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