Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
porn star boner night. come get it.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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