No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
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