i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
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i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
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Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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