someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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