Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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