Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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