i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize