Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
