is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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