haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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