is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Less talking, more tequila
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize