Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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