SEEEEXXX PLEASE
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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