i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.