Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?