u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
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so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
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She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.