As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
