Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
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After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
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I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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