Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
don't judge my taste in strippers
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
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