Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Sex while Star Warsing is the best