does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis