you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail