How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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