by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
How does it feel to date your dad?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
