Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize
