My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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