i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
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She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
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You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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