wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize