It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it