the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
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Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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