Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize