dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.