Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize