Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
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But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
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Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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