WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize