How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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