I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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