i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
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